We hope everyone understands that once we bring her home, our conversations and statements about the above will be much more guarded. For a while we will stick to light weight explanations until she is of an appropriate age to dicuss the harsh realities that exist in the world.
To some of you we may seem to be unnecessarily sensitive to the kind of questions we have been happy to answer during the waiting phase. The important thing to remember is that once our child is a permanent part of our family our primary job is making her feel secure, wanted, loved, and as normal a kid as possible.
When we have returned home with our daughter we will be happy to share tales of our trip. However as for specific information about our childs life before us, that is personal information that we choose to keep private. When our child is old enough to know and tell her story that will be up to her to choose to share.
Thank You
Ken and Erin Pietrasik
Positive Language |
Negative Language |
Birth Parent |
Real Parents |
Biological Parent |
Natural Parent |
Birth Child |
Own Child |
My Child |
Adopted Child; Own Child |
Born to Unmarried Parents |
Illegitimate |
Terminate Parental Rights |
Give Up |
Make an Adoption Plan |
Give Away |
To Parent |
To Keep |
Waiting Child |
Adoptable Child; Available Child |
Biological Father |
Begetter |
Making Contact with |
Reunion |
Parent |
Adoptive Parent |
International Adoption |
Foreign Adoption |
Adoption Triad |
Adoption Triangle |
Permission to Sign a Release |
Disclosure |
Search |
Track Down |
Child Placed for Adoption |
An Unwanted Child |
Court Terminated |
Child Taken Away |
Child with Special Needs |
Handicapped Child |
Child from Abroad |
Foreign Child |
Was Adopted |
Is Adopted |
Twenty Things Adopted Kids wish their Adoptive Parents Knew
from the book with the same title by Sherrie Eldridge
1. I suffered a profound loss before I was adopted, you are not responsible.
2. I need to be taught that I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed.
3. If I don't grieve my loss my ability to receive love from you and others will be hindered.
4. My unresolved grief may surface in anger toward you.
5. I need your help in grieving my loss. Teach me how to get in touch with my feelings about adoption and then validate them.
6. Just because I don't talk about my birth family doesn't mean I don't think about them.
7. I want you to take initiative in opening conversations about my birth family.
8. I need to know the truth about my conception, birth, and family history, no matter how painful the details may be.
9. I am afraid I was "given away" by my birthmother because I was a bad baby. I need you to help me dump my toxic shame.
10. I am afraid you will abandon me.
11. I may appear more "whole" than I actually am. I need your help to uncover the parts of myself that I keep hidden so I can integrate all the elements of my identity.
12. I need to gain a sense of personal power.
13. Please don't say I look or act just like you. I need you to acknowledge and celebrate our differences.
14. Let me be my own person.....But don't let me cut myself off from you.
15. Please respect my privacy regarding my adoption. Don't tell other people without my consent.
16. Birthdays may be difficult for me.
17. Not knowing my full medical history can be distressing at times.
18. I am afraid I will be too much for you to handle.
19. When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me, and respond wisely.
20. Even if I decide to search for my birth family, I will always want you to be my parents.
email to Baby Pietrasik