March 23, 2007
Dear Family, Friends, and those inquiring about Adoption.
All we can say is WOW what a year it has been. One year ago today we met and held our Alexia for the very first time. It’s now funny to think back on that day and how scared we all were, even Alexia (although she can’t tell us if she was scared or not).
Watching her today it’s hard to remember the skinny long 16 month old baby who wouldn’t crawl and couldn’t walk without holding onto a hand. Now one year later she is very filled out, very healthy, and so active I can’t get through the day without a nap.
Just to recap what Alexia’s first year home has been like.
We got involved in Gymboree both music and play classes
almost immediately upon coming home. This really helped with socialization and
our relationship building. We also found another music class close to home,
Music Together. We continued to do both Gymboree and Music Together through out
this year mostly because she really enjoys music. This has really helped with
her gross and fine motor skills, her language development, and she is so social
with the other children now it is hard to believe she is the same kid we
brought home. Yesterday was Alexia’s very last Gymboree class. It was sad for
me, everyone there has been so involved with Alexia, and we will miss them all.
When we get to our new home in
We had a bit of a rough summer with Night Terrors. But we sought assistance and we were directed to a program called PCIT – Parent Child Interaction Therapy with Child Guidance Center of Orange County. This program was a very simple play period with some very specific rules. 1. Utilize the PRIDE tools; P=Praise, there are two kinds of praise, labeled and unlabeled. You want to use labeled as much as possible. R=REFLECT back what the child says, this both lets the child know that you understand them and also helps with language development. I=IMITATE what the child is doing, this lets the child know you like what they are doing and shows them that you are involved. D=DESCRIBE what the child is doing, this shows the child that you are interested in what they are doing. E=ENTHUSIASM, this strengthens the positive relationship between you and the child. 2. Active Ignoring of inappropriate behavior. Negative behavior is another way of seeking attention, if they don’t get the attention they want they will switch to a more positive behavior in order to get that attention. 3. Avoid giving commands, Avoid asking questions, and Avoid criticizing. These don’t allow your child to lead in the play and can indicate a lack of trust to the child. 4. The parent or “caregiver” is never ever to use NO, DON’T, STOP, QUIT, and NOT. Not “never at all during the day” just never during this special one hour of the day. WE can’t begin to express to you how much Alexia changed and attached during the 12 weeks of PCIT. It was remarkable and we are so thankful that someone listened to our small concerns and pointed us in the right direction.
Amidst all the catching up developmentally and bonding and attaching to her parents Alexia has been a normal kid. We spent the summer hanging out at the pool with other kids in the neighborhood, going to the beach, and having picnics. Alexia was baptized in July, and we participated in VBS with our church. Alexia has attended a number of birthday parties, had play dates at the zoo, celebrated her first Halloween, Thanksgiving, turning Two, and Christmas, and now we are looking forward to spending our Second Easter together.
So where is Alexia today? Today she is 28 months old. She is about 3 ft tall and I am really not sure what she weighs but she is heavy. She loves to run, climb, and jump. Alexia manages the stairs in the house much better than a lot of grownups I know. She is a bit of a daredevil and she has no fear, which of course scares me to death. She loves the playground and asks for it whenever we pass the street it is on. She is more into pushing her tricycle around right now than actually riding it, she is still just a bit short for being able to properly pedal. One of her favorite ways to play with Daddy is to fly. Daddy holds her with Alexia facing out, her arms spread out wide like a birds wings, and her legs around his middle. She loves to “Fly” like this. Alexia also loves loves loves to dance, she can’t get enough of it. It’s time to seek out a toddler based dance or movement class. She is mimicking dance type movements she sees others do.
Alexia’s verbal speech is really coming along although she does continue to sign and we do encourage this. Her verbal vocabulary is now about 100 words maybe a little more, signing is about 200 words. Alexia can count to 15 and recognizes the numbers 1-9. Alexia recognizes most of the alphabet and will name each letter or see a letter and say a word that starts with that letter. She does not yet say or sing the alphabet in order. She signs many of the letters, her favorites to sign being A and X.
Alexia has really been into the car lately. Out of the blue, and for no specific reason, she will insist on putting on her shoes and going to the car. She won’t tell us where she wants to go but she definitely wants in the car. And she wants one of us to “seat seat seat” next to her. This usually isn’t a problem until we are driving down the road and then she starts insisting on having us sit next to her, and since we can’t because we are driving, boy can she pour on those crocodile tears. I think we have definitely entered the “Trying Two’s” period with her. We still haven’t experienced full on throw yourself on the floor kicking and screaming tantrums, but she can turn on the water works if she doesn’t get her way.
Alexia can slip on her shoes by herself and tighten the Velcro. If it is a buckle shoe we still have to help her. She still is not willing to undress or dress herself. But she has started to take off her pajamas and if she does not have any clothes on she will take off her diaper. Lately she has wanted to put her diaper on herself, and she tries really hard, but we still have to do that for her. During Diaper changing she will frequently want either the AD diaper rash gel or some lotion. She tries to put this on herself. You can’t help but chuckle to watch this little girl twist and turn to rub gel on her bottom. Alexia is also very into her jackets, she likes to play with the zippers. She is very good with zippers and is now very curious about buttons, button HOLES, and snaps.
Alexia loves MAIL. She calls out Mailboxes whenever she sees one. She yells MAIL when we go out to get the mail. Now she is also really into Keys (which she pronounces “teys”, she is having a hard time with the K sound, imagine how she says Kitties). So now we walk out to the mailbox together to get the mail and she gets to put the key into the mailbox slot. She also has been able to put the key into the front door. She can’t quite turn it and unlock the door yet. I am sure it is only a matter of time. Alexia is able to open her bedroom door and she loves to play in her closet. One day I couldn’t find her but I could hear her, and she was playing in her closet with the door closed. When I opened the door there she was as happy and proud as she could be.
Other little things that she is able to do or does that come to mind is she can do and undo the top buckle of her car seat and the buckles in the stroller and grocery carts. She is trying really hard to undo the bottom buckle of the car seat, sometimes she seems really close to being able to do it. I am terrified I am going to look up one day and find her standing in the backseat as I am driving down the freeway. She tries to open the fridge to get her milk or yogurt or grapes or juice. She can’t quite pull it open yet, but she will soon enough. When we have yogurt or applesauce or anything that requires a spoon or fork she goes to the drawer in the kitchen and pulls one out, she keeps taking things out and putting things in until it’s what she wants, and she is almost always right, getting a fork if needed or spoon if needed. When she is all done eating she puts her dirty dishes in the sink. Speaking of dirties she also puts her dirty clothes in her laundry basket.
Favorite foods: Tofu, noodles, bread/english muffins (whole wheat only), butter, peanut butter, oatmeal, banana’s, applesauce (but not apples), cantaloupe, grapes (this is new and does not like raisins), oranges, butternut squash (most winter squash types actually), sweet potatoes (especially the jarred baby food sweet potatoes, which we still keep around as a back up if she won’t eat anything else), and eggs. Now that we can give her some amount of cheese she loves Macaroni and Cheese, Cheese Pizza, and Grilled Cheese sandwich. She will on occasion eat carrots, broccoli, and zucchini, but it has to be cooked to mush. And of course she loves crackers; Ritz, Graham, and Goldfish.
She currently does not have a favorite toy, her preferences change day by day. As for TV, Alexia lost interest in Teletubbies about 5 months ago, thank goodness. She likes Elmo, but only occasionally now. She toggles back and forth between Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Little Einsteins (both on Disney Channel), and Dora the Explorer (Dor/Bootsch is what she calls it) as her obsession of the week. She still loves Signing Time on PBS, although we now have the DVD’s for her.
Alexia is still in Diapers and still in her crib. She has
not used a bottle at all since New Years (we let her have a night time bottle
until then to help with her adjustment and help with bonding). WE KNOW we
should be working towards moving her out of the crib and out of diapers. But we
will be moving to another house in another state in less than two months. She
has had so much to put up with the last couple of months with moving most of
her toys to storage to prep the CA house for sale. We’ve made two trips to
Now only on occasion do we get even the slightest glimpse of the baby girl we brought home 12 months ago. Today she is a happy, active, and becoming very independent little girl, not a baby anymore. It’s funny that with some of the development lag we did get to experience some of the infant type stages, but each of these was fast fleeting moments. It’s almost as if we experienced two years of Baby and Toddler in one year, and a lot of that time was playing catch up for us parents also. Every so often, if she is very tired, or not feeling well or not feeling secure, we’ll get to see a bit of that baby girl again, and we just want to freeze those moments for as long as possible. At the beginning we feared her wanting to wander from us without a thought, without a glance, to do her own thing, this could indicate she is not bonding. Now she is very bonded and doing the very normal inching away from us to do her own thing, but she does always check back to make sure we are still there.
All is good, all is well, all is wonderful. We can’t wait to see what the next year has in store.
Love